Chicken: Archives


Chicken: Letter from Jack Spade CEO

October 16th 2013 PDT

It's Called Satire, People Jack Spade Executive to San Francisco: You'll Regret Not Having That Rollneck Sweater By Benjamin Wachs Jack Spade model shows San Francisco what its missing in this Jarrett plaid shirt By Jack Spade VP Faux Melissa Xides The Jack Spade team is really disappointed not to be opening our new store in the hip Mission neighborhood, where we know we'd fit in just like a buffalo check dipped utility bag fits with a Milford window pane suit blazer. You k ...Continue Reading


October 14th 2013 PDT

TRUTH IN ADVERTISING this is what it looks like when we FILL THE STREETS WITH SEAMEN more photos: 48 people in sailor suits forever changed the direction of the Mission district by altering the path of a chain store worth over a billon dollars.   All you ever really need to do anything is a plan. No matter how stupid, insipid or impossible that plan might be. Now, this action wasn't real ...Continue Reading

Chicken: Tonights Jack Off is a victory lap...

October 11th 2013 PDT

The Jack Off is ON!!!!! The representative from Jack Spade that was at the hearing on Wedensday night was standing around aftwards chatting. Someone handed her this flyer: And she said:  "Yea. I think we are going to pull out."   With no irony she said "pull out". The comedy here is amazing. Yesterday moring the CEO from parent company that owns Jack Spade wrote a letter saying they surrender. We won the hearing, and thus we were in a power position to annoy the s ...Continue Reading

Chicken: YOU WANNA SEE JACK (SPADE) OFF 16TH? We will fill the streets with SEAMEN!!!!!

October 10th 2013 PDT

OK, so we are not really gonna jerk off all over 16th street. It's a clever re-wording. Dress like a sailor or a pirate or a sea monster. WE ARE GOING TO FILL THE STREETS WITH SEAMEN!!!!!!!!! ...Continue Reading

Chicken: Jack Off 16th street "We will fill the streets with semen"

October 10th 2013 PDT

For immediate “release” Chicken John and friends to “JACK OFF” 16th Street! San Francisco, CA – To demonstrate their objection to chain stores like Jack Spade trying to take root in the Mission, San Francisco showman Chicken John Rinaldi and a collection of friends and followers are planning to “JACK OFF” in front of the chain store’s proposed location this Friday night. “We promise to jack off until we fill the streets with semen! ...Continue Reading


October 9th 2013 PDT

5 PM tonight, room 416. It all comes to this. One last appeal. We have Tom Ammiano, the guy who wrote the legislation, who wrote a letter supporting our cause. We have letters from Matt Gonzalez and half a dozen more. We need to show an outpouring of support. Read about it here: AND KEEP FRIDAY NIGHT OPEN AT 8:00 FOR A JACK SPADE ACTION THAT WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT RIGHT NOW. IT'S GOING TO B ...Continue Reading

Chicken: Last chance to STOP JACK SPADE this Wedensday at City Hall

October 7th 2013 PDT

So, much has happened since the last time we talked about Jack Spade. Many of our elected representatives seem to be guilty of sedition, as our parks close and non-essential government works are on furlough while our republican statesmen lower the bar to what seems to be an all or nothing repeat of the end of segregation in 1960's Alabama. This is a good example of why it's so important to show Jack Spade that it takes more than money and connections to get what you want in a democracy. Did you know that 500 million do ...Continue Reading

Chicken: Save the Date: Friday Oct 11th, 8:00 PM

October 3rd 2013 PDT

SAVE THIS DATE!!! PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR: FRIDAY OCT 11TH, 8:00 PM MEET ON 16TH STREET IN FRONT OF THE OLD ADOBE BOOKS 3166 16TH STREET How do we get JACK OFF 16th street? Jade Spade and his million dollar handbags are pirates. They are pirating their way into our neighborhood. Lets call a spade a spade, shall we? We have an action planned. Details soon. Just plan on being there. Free event, street theatre. Don't miss it. Write. The. Date. On. Your. Calendar. Now. Do it now!!!! Next Friday!!!!!! chicken ...Continue Reading

Chicken: Kirk the Seaforager

September 9th 2013 PDT So a million years ago I lived in NYC and owned a little moving company. We moved people and their stuff from place to place to pay our bills, and we played in a rock and roll band to have some fun. My business got buzy, and we would end up with more jobs then we could do. So we would pass off jobs to other movers. That’s when I met Kirk. He had a shitty van and was doing the same thing we were. I gave him jobs from time to time, we’d talk on the phone. It was years before ...Continue Reading

Chicken: Jack Spade on 16th street

September 9th 2013 PDT

OK, so if you don’t know what’s happening on 16th street here is a quick update. Adobe Books rent was tripled. They agreed to pay, but got evicted anyway. No law was broken in doing this, although Adobe had been there for 25 years. Adobe Books re-opened on 24th street. 5th and Pacific company secures lease for that space for $12,000 a month. They fill out forms with the city to put in one of their formula retail stores. The one they decide to go with is Jack Spade, which has ten other locations in ...Continue Reading
  • This mailing list is a public mailing list - anyone may join or leave, at any time.
  • This mailing list is announce-only.

This email list is that of Showman Chicken John Rinaldi of San Francisco. You can keep up with his shenanigans and opinions by being on this list. If you would like to be included in a list to announce shows, that would be on the site. This is for personal writing and such. He posts a few times a week at most. You sound much more important when you speak about yourself in the 3rd person. At least I do when I talk about me as 'him'.

Privacy Policy:

Your email will be used for this list and this list only. I will not subscribe you to another list or sell your email address to get money for blow. I wouldn't do it I swear.