So…. Eileen spent $5,000 on her wedding dress. I agreed with the caveat that she sell it or give it away afterward so that more then one person gets to enjoy it. What I really wanted was for her to sell it or give it away to someone who would do the same. It’s a beautiful dress. But even if we had a daughter she won’t want to wear it anyway, just like Eileen didn’t wanna wear her moms’ dress this time around. And I reminded Eileen how much she enjoyed wedding dress shopping with her mom, and how much she will enjoy dress shopping with her daughter.

So.

She lists it on a wedding dress site. For $2,000.

Please enjoy this absurd exchange:

Is this dress still for sale?

Warning from OnceWed.com:
Never accept a cashier's check, money order, or personal check as a form of payment for your dress.Escrow.com is the safest way to handle payment for your dress. If this inquiry looks fraudulent do not respond to it. Please beware of scammers!
 

Yes!

Eileen


Hi Eileen:
 
Thanks for your reply.  My daughter Katy is getting married this upcoming September. Katy saw this dress and fell in love with it a bridal boutique, BUT there is no way we could afford it.
 
My Husband has been out of work for a couple of years, and we have a super tight budget for this wedding.  I can offer you $800.00 for the dress.  Please don’t be insulted!!! I can promise that we would most likely sell they dress again after her wedding, as that would also help our budget.  Please let me know if you would consider this offer.
 
I can only say that you would make my daughter a very happy girl if you would!!
 
Kind regards,
 
Renee XXXXXXX
 
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6
 
 
Renee,
 
I was excited to see your inquiry about my wedding dress until I saw the Jesus stuff in your signature file. Though I have no problem with Jesus or the people who dig him, I could not in good conscience sell you this dress unless I knew that you were not one of the hateful Christians that thinks that marriage is reserved for a man and a woman. It is in my opinion that marriage is for people who love each other, no matter their  race, color, creed, national origin, sex, religious or political affiliation.
 
Tell me that you and your daughter are people who believe in love and that you will sell this dress for the same price I sell it to you for or less and I will sell it to you for $1,200.
 
Eileen
 
Wow!  Quite a response!
 
Yes, I am a person of deep Christian faith, AND I am the Mom of three daughters, one of which is Married to a lovely young lady. So, I really have four daughters, in all. They are the parents of my adorable two year old grandson Holden.  My daughter- in law works at the GLBT center in Los Angeles, counseling and caring for children of same sex couples.  My husband and I have been married for thirty years.  And our family in the very center of our universe.
 
Not all Christians are like those who hold up hateful signs, and judge others.  Some of us try to love others, just as we are loved by God.  As you can see this is an intensely personal matter to me.  Frankly, your comment hit me like a dagger in the heart.
 
Our youngest daughter is a sweet girl, who just likes this dress and is looking to buy it pre-owned. Absolute best offer I can make is $1000.00 and we would promise to sell it for that or less, after her wedding.
 
Please let me know if that would be acceptable.
 
Renee XXXXX
 
 
 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6
 
Hi Renee,
I've been thinking a lot about our correspondence.  Although you have clearly stated that you have a daughter who is gay, I realized that you have cleverly avoided answering my question. Which I will ask bluntly this time: did you or did you not vote for Prop 8? Do you believe that marriage is reserved for the love of a man and women? In the opinion of my husband and I, someone who voted on Prop 8 to make same-sex marriage illegal is someone filled with hate. I looked at your Facebook page. You are a conservative Christian who supported Mitt Romney for President. And although you have a gay daughter, you could very well think that she is going to hell. Although you say that you are not one to hold up a hateful sign, I actually appreciate those that would stand with a sign with their message even if I don't agree with it rather then have someone elude a question that the answer would hold a finical consequence.
 
Prevarication, or evading the truth, is bearing false witness. If you voted for Prop 8 you have presented yourself falsely to me. I was clear and straightforward with you, and I believe that you are being evasive with me. You may now begin to see why I am so cautious when dealing with the devout.
 
So now we have a new deal: Admit that you lied to me and you will sell this dress for the same price I sell it to you for or less and I will sell it to you for $500.
 
Eileen
 
Well Eileen, you have shocked me, once again!
 
You have made yourselves the judge and the jury, tried me and convicted me, based on a bible verse in my signature, and my Facebook page.  You must feel happily justified in your disgust of me and “my kind…the devout”.  But the truth is you don’t know me or what is in my heart, what I love or what I hate.  You don’t know my life story, any more than I know yours. You just presume and judge.
 
As for me, I am not in a position to judge anyone of anything, my daughters, you, Romey, the Pope, Mao, Obama or any other human.  The bible says “Do not judge, lest you be judged”.  I believe judgment is reserved for God alone. Perhaps they didn’t share that part of the Bible with you in your religious studies classes at Brown.
 
Regarding, who or what I voted for, or against, is still a private matter in our country.  I would die to preserve anyone’s right to vote for whatever compels them, whether I agree with them or not.  That is the true essence of tolerance and Liberty.
 
My daughters where all dumbstruck by your judgmental, intolerant screed.  Katy just told me “I would prefer to wear a trash bag down the aisle, than a dress that was worn by such a bigoted, hypocrite”. Her words, not mine.
 
So, it seems we will pass on your offer (no matter what the price), as your price tag and dress are tainted with your hate-filled, self-righteousness. Perhaps when you next list your dress for sale, you should clearly state who you will or won’t sell to, so that the next bride and family won’t be subject to your cruel accusations and indictments.
 
Sincerely,
 
Renee
 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6
 
 

Renee,

I'm afraid you're mistaken.  You asked me to give you a special deal on the dress, because of your situation.  When you did that, I asked you a simple question.  Your original answer was intentionally misleading. You told me about your daughter who is partnered with another women just so I'd sell you the dress for less money, so I could feel an affinity with you.  But it was also insulting, because I asked you a question and you didn't answer it.  Which actually answered it, as far as I'm concerned.
 
There are consequences to being inauthentic. You could have presented your point of view and we could have had a conversation about it. But instead, you feign outrage and again duck the question and are full of blame and insults.
 
I am prepared to give the dress away but I'd only be willing to do that for someone I felt some shred of respect or kinship.
 
You are on the wrong side of history. Your candidate lost and Prop 8 will be overturned soon.
 
But this email will remain, and our children, your grandchildren, will read it and appreciate that they have much better problems.
 
Best of luck,
Eileen
 

I never shared anything with you to gain anything, only to defend against your bigoted accusations.
 
I recommend you seek professional help for your narcissism, intolerance, and manipulative personality.  As these traits will not serve you well as you make your way through this life.
 
PS. Any further lectures from you have been blocked. 
 
Have a nice day ☺
 

The email correspondence with Renee ends here. But Renee forwarded it to the rest of her family. And didn’t redact the email address’. So the gay Daughter Alica writes to us:


Hi Eileen!
 
I truly admire your ability to stand up for your convictions! After reading the chain I see you got a little taste of what these types of conversations are like in the XXXXXXX family. It's not fun...and it has come to the point where we mostly avoid the conversation because we rarely get anywhere.
 
For what it's worth, we are very grateful to have allies like you and your husband. It means so much to know that people like you exist!
 
Alica

*****************************************************************
 
 
It’s a beautiful dress, if you know anyone who needs one. Street size 6, wedding dress size 10….

chicken